Pattern Breaking.

I've been thinking a lot lately about patterns. Not clothing. But patterns of action, of thought. We all have them and they're so engrained in us that many of us don't even give them a second thought. We just think, oh, this is how this is…and that is how that is…we have everything so figured out. God forbid we question ourselves or the situation. A wise man said to me recently, "I don't know, and I'm not really interested in the answer. Questions are so much more interesting, don't you think?"

I just read a quote somewhere by Thich Nhat Hanh that said, 

 When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. -   
Thích Nhat Hanh
Reactions to people are patterns. We call people into our lives and then we blame them for being aggressive or afraid or complacent or jealous or self conscious or whatever… Love is the only answer. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. Don't blame the person, just love. That doesn't mean that you have to keep people in your life that don't work for you. It doesn't mean keep trying and killing yourself so that this relationship will work. no. matter. what. Just put some grace around it. Some love and then let it be. Let those people know you love them and let the Universe do what it does so well. The dance of bringing people together or taking them separate ways. But what does your heart say, dear friend? Do that.