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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Self Belief. :)

What is self doubt? Where does it come from?

I believe that self doubt is taking on the voices of others and believing those voices to be your own. It's not really our voice. Until someone told you that you couldn't or that it wasn't good enough, or that it was supposed to be something else...did you want it to be anything else?

That is their judgement, their attachment to how a thing should be. And if they want to create something that looks like it does in their mind, they have the freedom to do so. Paint your own picture!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Power of Belief.

We people think we know ourselves. We think we know what we're good at, and more dangerously for our growth, we think we know what we're NOT good at.

So, how does this explain when someone says something about themselves that they are certain of and others just can't see it? For instance, I have a friend who recently said, "I'm not very creative." When I heard her say that, it made me have a tiny reaction inside. I want her to see that maybe she is creative, maybe she just wasn't allowed to be by others in the past. Maybe she didn't allow herself to be. I don't know.

Maybe I'm projecting, maybe she's really not creative...but I don't think it's that. (It may be a tiny bit projecting and as you read on you'll see why... but I do believe that everyone is creative in some way, if they allow themselves to be). It reminds me of those really thin people who are certain of how heavy they are. We are who we believe ourselves to be...

I recently heard a very awesome girl I met say that 95 - 98% of all of our thoughts are unnecessary. That only thoughts of survival are REALLY necessary. And so, that means that the rest of our thoughts can be questioned because they aren't necessary for survival. If we take a minute to look at these unnecessary thoughts, we won't be eaten by the wolf or starve to death while pondering. So we can take that moment to ask...what IS this thought, where does it come from and do I actually believe it? This might make some of us uncomfortable because we are not used to questioning our beliefs, and maybe even questioning that they really are OUR beliefs to begin with. 

I read a quote lately about people not really knowing what they're good at and I think it's so true, myself included. "Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong. And yet...a person can perform only from strength." ~ Peter Drucker

I do take time now to question myself. If we don't take the time to question...to find out...how can we ever live to our fullest potential? I want to question everything. I don't want to know anything anymore, I want to keep finding out. There is where the adventure lies, the deepening. The mystery is where it's at.

I never took art class as a young person because I formed a belief when I was a child that I wasn't any good and so there was certainly no point in trying and therefore embarrassing myself. Where that belief came from was a simple interaction. I made a drawing and showed it to someone. I was so proud of it that I said maybe we could send it to a museum (I was 7). I think I just thought...well, that's where art lives, in a museum. And the person that I said this to laughed so hard that my beautiful drawing became just a piece of worthless paper and I knew that I was definitely not an artist. That person didn't mean to make me feel that way, I am sure of it. But as a child, that is the belief that I formed. I wouldn't touch a piece of paper with a pencil to draw in public if you had paid me. 

These beliefs become so engrained in us, that we must question them when we gain a certain level of consciousness about our lives. I am not good at math. That is a firm belief that I hold about myself. Yet, when I took math classes in college (certainly not anything high level!) I got A's. So, am I really not good at math...or is it just not a natural talent? Just because I don't enjoy it, doesn't mean I can't be good at it. Certainly, we can't be good at everything and more importantly, I don't think we would want to be. That's exhausting. Yet finding our real talents that can come alive when married with actual interest and passion...that's magical.

So, basically, what I want to say is...don't box yourself in... Question yourself and your beliefs. Explore your untapped talents. You may get to know yourself on an entirely different level! And what a blessing... to know yourself. What a delicious and wonderful blessing!


                                                                                                     

Saturday, January 5, 2013

One Year Anniversary.

Today is the one year anniversary of my yoga studio, yoga urth. 

It has been such a year of change and growth and travel and then sitting still and listening to my inner voice.

I have loved in the best way I knew how and hopefully that is acceptable to the universe.

I have hopefully served others in a way that allowed them to grow or love themselves more or understand themselves more and hopefully that is acceptable to the universe. 

I have learned.

I am so grateful for my studio, where it has come from and where it is going and for all of us who are along for that ride. 

Amen.

may it keep being an adventure.












Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Intentions.

It is the first day of 2013. Time to set some intentions, some direction for where we want to go in this year...in our lives. 

I heard a great idea from a girl that I just found on the internet, Gabrielle Bernstein who is an inspirational speaker. I shouldn't say girl, I suppose, I should say woman but I just get caught in the mode of calling my same age group boys and girls...when we're really 30 somethings...but isn't it all just a mindset anyway? Who cares what I call her, a girl or a woman? What is right or wrong about that? Totally sidetracking....sorry.

Back to the point. Her idea was (and I've actually heard this before but thought about it for the first time as a tradition on New Years Eve) to write down your intention on New Years Eve and then to burn it on New Years Day. But the reason to burn it is to trust. To let it go into the Universe and say...I release this to you. It's not mine to worry about anymore. 

It's like the God Jar. You take a jar and when you have worries, you place them in the jar...giving them to God. I remember hearing Oprah tell a story about when she wanted to act in The Color Purple and she wasn't getting a call...and finally she was so upset, she took a walk in the rain and said to God, (paraphrasing) I give this to you. Do what you will with it. And she got the call shortly thereafter. 

It's so beautiful because when we stop struggling, stop fighting against what is...it just feels right. What is meant to be will be. I truly, truly believe in this.

I have had things in my life in the last year that I wanted and that I had to let go of the struggle of.  2012 has been quite a year. And I know that what is right will peacefully find it's way into my life. 

2013 is shaping up to be a big year for me personally. I have committed to a 500 hour yoga teacher training program (an extension of my current training as I am a certified yoga instructor), a person whom I respect in the yoga community has asked me to host a workshop for him and I feel that it will be amazing. 

But the best part of this past year is that I am finally starting to trust my OWN voice. I could almost cry writing that. I have always second guessed myself and looked outside to see my own reflection. Looked to see how others saw me. But I was really only looking at their reflection and never saw myself...because how people see you is a reflection of themselves...not you. You must see yourself first. You must feel your own divinity, your connection with the Divine, with everything in the Universe. No one can give that to you. I wish this for you. 

Walking over to my hotel room, where I am having to live at the current moment and which is definitely not ideal even though so many people may think how cool...room service, etc... all I have wanted for a long time is a HOME. And so... definitely not ideal, however, I had one of the most sacred moments. You know those moments when you feel SO very connected. One of those moments...a beautiful sunset, a song that gets into your soul, something, anything that touches you in a way that you feel a connection to the larger thing...the Universe, God, your higher self, whatever you want to call it. I had one of those moments walking to this hotel room, in the grey and cold of Ohio January. I am feeling in touch. I will strive to keep it this way and not get lost again. 

Love and light and all good things to you. All of you.

xox ~ Erin