Pages

Monday, September 28, 2015

life.

So much has changed since the last post. I've taken a long break from being on here.

One thing that happened was that when I had begun to do that cleanse last January I found out that I was pregnant.

I had a miscarriage five weeks later.

I hadn't been sure that I wanted the baby but when I lost it, I was so sad and it took awhile to process.

You never think that you're going to be the one to have a miscarriage until you do. And then you wonder why you never thought that it was possible. Anything is possible.

But what was the lesson, the nugget that I took away from that experience?

That life is a miracle. Not to be taken for granted. That there is nothing to control about life. That human beings are infinitely complicated, complex and beautiful with being able to have so many facets, emotions, desires, loves, aversions, thoughts, beliefs in one body. Not to judge (again) anyone else for any choices that they make about parenting. This is a hard one. Our minds are constantly judging (this is good, this is bad, this is right, this is wrong, I know better) but try to catch it.

Just to be grateful to be alive myself and to be grateful for the opportunity to create life. And then to celebrate life by any means possible.


silence.

it's the only thing i hear.

i listen for your voice

and hear the silence.

which tells me

stop asking

which tells me

look within.

stop looking for the answer.

the answer is within.