where the light gets in...

Suffering is a treasure, for it conceals mercies;

The almond becomes fresh when you peel off the rind.

O my brother, staying in a cold dark place

And bearing patiently the grief, weakness, and pain

is the Source of Life and the cup of Abandon!

The heights are found only in the depths of abasement; 

Spring is hidden in autumn, and autumn pregnant with spring. 

Flee neither; be the friend of Grief, accept desolation,

Hunt for for the life that springs from the death of yourself." 

~ Jalal ud-Din Rumi

I 100% believe the above quote. For those of you who read my writing, you may have been able to tell that I have been in a place of some suffering (some joy) for a little bit of time now. 

I am, in fact, going through a divorce, raising two tiny human beings, getting my masters online, teaching yoga, learning how to date, reconnecting with parts of myself that I have ignored, reexamining what I am going to do with my entire life...and experiencing a very transformational and soul excavating time of my life. 

I have had my fair share of ups and downs since our separation, as I'm sure has my husband/ex-husband to be. Gratefully, we will remain friends. We will co-parent and love our children together. These two facts help me get through the fact that, even though I know it is the right decision for us, the dream of our life together died. 

He is a good man. I am a good woman. And, despite our uncoupling, I see our marriage as a victory. Because we learned so many lessons. And we truly loved each other. And we created two beautiful and amazing children. That is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope that we can hold onto our friendship through the divorce process and afterwards. I believe that we can. 

For anyone going through hard times...may you walk through the fire, babe. The fire is the thing that blesses us. Dig into the ability to be courageous in the face of fear. Have the courage to go after what you want. Own the power of vulnerability, of showing up openhearted, even when you don't know what will happen. The power of love is everything. That's not sentimental bullshit. That's the real deal. The power of love is worth all of it. Honor your boundaries, too. Just because you love doesn't mean you accept the things that are not right for you. May we find all of these things and let them wash over our lives. May we find grace, community, laughter and love through, and on the other side of heartbreak. 

There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. ~ Leonard Cohen