Rest In Peace

I sit and spit 

out the dirt that I swallowed 

when you buried me.
for her. and her. and her. 

so much fucking dirt.
I dust it from my limbs,
I shake it from my hair. 
stock still, staring at this gaping hole.

A hole that my fingers

clawed the edges of to be 

reborn. A hole that I intend to 

bury you in, darling one.

first those stiff legs

that wanted me to stretch,
that needed me to lay 
my hands upon them, as if 

it would save my life 

for you to feel better.

I always wanted you.

wanted you to feel better.

Next your chest, because 

it really didn't do much 

for me anyway.

that place your heart lives

with it's central air, 

so tight and guarded and 

clean. polished, no evidence

allowed to reside.

 
next your beautiful face

because I can no longer 

stand to have those broken brown 

mirrors looking at me, smiling

that sad knowing smile.

looks that say
I can love you from afar
with my bow. and my arrow. 

naturally your love takes cover.
you couldn't love me
like hand to hand combat.

too dirty. too bloody.

lastly, I cover up that pelvis.
the region in which lives

your most well known

attribute. yes, and it is beautiful.

that primary object 

I was in relation with.
me and every other woman, girl, 

and in between you held space for.

I did love that part of you.
mmm, I love it still.

maybe, before this grave is done, 

just...one last hit?

and then, you will finally be
the man you wanted to be 

for me. just another 

faceless fuck. please. don’t take it 

personal. I know you won't.

I wish I didn't. 

goodbye my lover.

I'd like to believe I won't come visit.