poem for day 7, #writeeverydamnday

I kissed the seeds of the dandelion

And flew with them throughout the wind

They scattered into parts unknown

and where they went I followed

I stroked the face of the ocean blue

and together we rode the depths

on the backs of dolphins dived below

and listened to their bellows

I felt the ground shake with the elephant

Felt the warmth upon my back

The air clung to my skin as I clung to them

And I heard them whisper Om

What a world this is

an opportunity

yet we're around only ourselves

can't see our struggling spirit

when we look to the Earth

when we look to the Sea

when we look to the Heavens

it becomes clear, becomes one

with all of these beautiful faces

and individual personalities

we get tricked, we get stuck

we are one, it's such luck

with an opportunity to be ourselves.

day 7, #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

just writing. day 6 of writing challenge.

I have some catching up to do. I'm two days behind on my writing challenge. I feel like I'm always doing SOMETHING but I know that there are people out there that do much, much more in a day than I do. (Beyonce, Barack Obama just to name two...when I want to whine, I think of people like this. am I REALLY doing SO much?) Although, to be honest, I really don't feel like whining anymore. Only that I'm tired sometimes. But never about what I have going on.

And I've learned to take rest in the past 6 months. I've started sleeping again on a more regular basis and sometimes...there is even a nap. Oh, sweet heavens. Plus, I'm starting to just be in a flow with the things that I create for myself to do. Yes, there's always something...but it's usually something that I want to have in my life, or if I didn't get it done, I'd feel like I would be cheating myself or others.

For instance, the handstand posts. After Vipassana meditation week, I had felt 'do I really need to be doing these handstands, what purpose do they serve'? But I know that people really appreciate them and some people really do look for them thereby... they are serving a purpose. So, I'm getting my practice, one. I'm giving people inspiration or whatever it is that they get from the posts, I'm sure it's different for different people, two. And three, I said I would do it. It's a 365 day challenge, not 170 days. So, I'm doing it. Even if I'm on full tilt all day and get home at 10 or 11, I can do one handstand regardless and think of something to say or find a quote. 5 minutes.

I know that all of this is leading me somewhere but I've also just learned to be in this moment and appreciate what it is here and now.  Next stone to step on, next stone to step on from here...etc. Appreciating this stone, this moment.

I'm starting to also truly believe in timelessness. I remember hearing my teacher say in class one day, you always have enough time. I happened to be running late that day and I was thinking...really? Do I always have enough time? Not today!

Question: Are there 24 hours in a day? Who says!? I mean, really...who says you have to base your time off of what is standard?

You don't. We just do what is normal because if we don't people call us weird. Until you say...damn it, I'm weird. And if you think about it, you're weird. We're all weird in our own beautiful way. Get weird. It's cool.


Day 6, #writeeverydamnday #justwrite #writeyourselfalive

why can't i find something to write about?

there is so much really that i could. so much in my back pocket that I've yet to take out and look at from different angles.

and yet, nothing seems to be floating up, coming up, coming free.

i'm in a new phase, a new place, a new bed. what more do i need to get my creative juices flowing?

i still have a lot settling, mud settling to the bottom. there is a lotus flower waiting there, i know it.


day 5, #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

Yoga and the Rose.

What has yoga done for me?

Firstly, rocked my world. Literally. Yoga came to me about three years ago in a big way and opened my eyes before I knew that it had happened. It made me put me first. It made me question everything. It made me a better person than I was. I had already been a - putting others first bleeding heart and loving others - kind of person... but yoga brings you to being more balanced and so it promptly pushed my shoulders back with confidence as well. 

The yoga journey is not without it's bumps and bruises and I don't mean just from falling out of handstand. It makes you look at yourself in ways you haven't before. It makes you get quiet so that you can actually hear instead of just creating meaningless chatter to fill the void. It asks you what matters. It gives you a nicer ass than you had before. (I mean, let's be honest). It gives you flexibility. It gives you patience. I'm not just blowing smoke up the chimney, it really does all of these things.  

Some people just want yoga for the nice ass part. That's fine. But the rest of it, if it calls to you, is there and available. The other night in Savasana I imagined all that I ever wanted to know was lodged tightly inside of a rosebud. I knew that of course I could not rip into that rosebud and pry it open with my little greedy fingers. Ripping things open, forcing things, just rips the thing that you're also longing for. You must give it water and space and sunshine. You must watch it, even though you love it so much you want to rip it from the ground and press it to your face. That aggressiveness, though, is not truly love. That is desire to own. Different thing entirely. Love allows things to blossom. Okay, getting off on a tangent here...coming back around.

Back to yoga. It will bring you friends that you would never, and I mean never, have met without it. Like minded people but also people that you may not have been open to without both of you being on a yoga mat in the same room. 

Yoga is a way of life. It's not just the physical practice. It's the way you start to think and feel. You say to yourself more often, "I can't believe this isn't pissing me off?" or "I would never have waited that long without losing it 6 months ago.." 

You get the picture. Yoga is pretty good shit. Try it. You'll like it. If you don't...go to at least three other teachers/styles before you give up on it. There is one out there for you, I guarantee it. It's not always the first one that grabs you. Trust me, yoga took years for me to find. I knew I wanted it but everything I tried seemed too slow or too gym based (I prefer a studio) or it was missing something. Once I caught the yoga bug....done and done.... yoga love.

Yoga finds where you need, even in places you may not know that you need and it helps you to let go of that need or to go after it. Finding you. Doing you. Loving you. And when you do that...that rosebud opens one petal at a time, revealing bliss, peace, love and abundance. Some days...less than others but you know it's there and you're willing to wait. One day at a time opening. 

Peace~ Erin

#writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

The pests on the beach.

I just got home after about a 9 hour drive from Wisconsin. 

On TV, there is a show called Urban Jungle that is talking about how animals are coming into our urban settings and how we have to make room for them since we are taking over the Earth and they have nowhere to go. 

It's funny because just this morning we were going on a beach walk and a meditation. Before we went we were all just silently gathering on the sidewalks and most of us were looking at Lake Michigan. There were a flock of seagulls on the beach. They were silent and still and I thought, why do they seem so annoying when you're on the beach? 

And then I thought...they must think the same about us! This is their beach. They hang out here peacefully and then every day, like it or not, here come the herds of humans. Loud, obnoxious, smelly humans with all of their garbage. However, they do bring food. Other than that, they're pretty useless. :)

I mean, really. Silent peaceful beach. The only thing missing that changes it was the...humans. 

secret to happiness, one moment at a time.

I'm doing a lot of reading lately.

One thing that I'm currently reading is the Course in Miracles. I tried reading it before but it wasn't the time and so it didn't work out. But now it seems to be.The lessons are about how we see in the world and about trying to make the mind understand that we don't even really see the world as it is. We only see the past and play it out on the people and environment around us currently. I'm on day 12.

So interesting. That means if we don't learn that lesson, history is bound to repeat itself over and over again in our lives like a broken record. I've heard people recently saying things like this. "Why does this always happen to me." Or, "story of my life." Or, "God doesn't want me to be happy." Whoa. Do not let words like this come out of your mouth. The only way to not let it happen is to first become aware of the things that you're saying. And then, like Wayne Dyer says, place that thought back on the conveyor belt and choose another. Do it again, and again, and again until the thoughts and words are truly positive. Not because you're lying to yourself or others but because you really feel that way.

I have a coach currently. A mentor. And he sent me a video the other day that is on Ted Talk that discusses the secret to success. Happiness. And we choose happiness by choosing the way that we think. Sounds simple enough. But trust me. I know that when I first heard this concept, I was like, OH GREAT. I'll just choose my thoughts, cuz that's so easy!! It's not easy. It's a process. But it can be done. And the results are worth it, my friend.

dragons and heroes.

what can i write about for this 30 day challenge?

write your truest sentence, as ernest hemingway says. my truest sentence. 

i'm in deep and i have found peace within. 

nothing can stop me now from this path of self discovery, of the digging and smoothing the dirt. digging and smoothing the dirt. sifting through to find the gold and to find the stones that no longer belong. 

i have only just begun and it seems that i have so far to go but i am not looking at the horizon. i cannot look there because it is so far away and so uncertain. i can only look right here in front of me and see what i have in my hands. what road lays beneath my feet right now. where should this very next step land? if i am thinking about my step 30, 40, 50 steps from now, how will i ever truly experience this one right here and now? how will i feel the land beneath my feet so sweet and present? how will i know it so fully, that i spiritually know where the next one truly goes from there?

i wish that i had more knowledge than i do. i have always wished that. but i only have the knowledge that i have and can only make my moves from there. the best that i have to give. the experience that i have gathered and will continue to collect upon my bones as i roll through this world.

i continue to grow my heart and to give it to others. i have a special container of water that is sacred and reserved for watering the roots of my heart. the roots go very deep. sometimes i hide the branches, though. sometimes i even hide the trunk that is above the surface because of fear. i am holding a sword of light in my hand. i am conquering the fear of the dragon that destroys hearts by not loving them. that dragon is not even the real enemy, the fear is. and that's why i'm conquering the fear instead. that dragon is scared too. that is what is so ironic here. the dragons are just as afraid as the heroes and both of them just want to be loved.