before.

before I scream,

I gag my mouth.

before I run,

I bind my feet.

before I love,

I find a man like you. 

autumn.

but wait!

it is Autumn.

time for breakthrough beauty

shining 

from the sky,

from the trees with their gold and 

soft lick of orange.

then suddenly 

shocking, startling red.

you had better stop 

your car.

when else will you get 

to devour 

such startling, shocking red as this?

draped lovingly across 

the branches 

of a noble beauty, who 

doesn't need your attention, 

but deserves it. 

I climb a thousand stairs, 

just 

to lose my breath.

nothing at the top.

three walls, the buzz

of fluorescent light,

say to me,

"there's nothing here...

this. a waste of time." 

No, I reply,

I know better. 

each step 

kissed my feet 

with grace. 

I am breathless...and alive. 

"Do you believe in past lives?"

I ask, knowing... "I don't," he says with finality.

"I do. Because of you. 

Not just because of you, of course. 

But certainly, again....because of you." 

We silently agree to the difference over our breakfast of eggs and sausage in this very American diner. Not only to the difference, but to love each other for the very fact of those differences. One day, they will likely be our undoing. But today, we choose to love each other again. Today, for me, there is only you, which is certainly better than not you. We eat our greasy spoon breakfasts and smile. 

eternity.

blackbird at the windowpane,
looking in, sees himself,
then me. rain falls; 

how his feathers shine!
cocks his head to one side.
one brief moment.

looks into my soul.
flies away. 
just a moment. and eternity. 

silencing crickets

crickets catch my ears,

trying hard to take over,

though they become background.

breath flows in, then out. 

slow, so as not to disturb

a heart so tender.

prying fingers, trying to let 

go which you wish to keep.

silencing crickets.

missing.

I might be staying

sad to keep you close to me.

your body gone missing,

I need something

to replace skin, hands, scent. 

luckily, sadness does the trick. 

it keeps me

in bed...

where I would be with you.

but I am there. with you.

even though your body breathes

four hundred and five miles away.

But who's counting?

perception

You think I am ugly.

Little it is, 

you know of beauty.

I hardly deign

to cast my eyes upon you

until you come upon me, then...

These wings widen,

kiss the currents,  

and feel the love in return. 

Azure, that's blue, for you 

who gaze upon it with longing,

caresses my body daily...

I soar and touch 

the infinite. What is it

that you touch?

What do you feel?

What see?

My ugliness, you say?

Red as blood,

brown as earth,

some light for wholeness, I am 

beyond what I am. 

I am symbol of death and 

eat death for life.

Pass it through my guts

as I unfold and 

worship the sun.

Tiny droplets of water 

that never fell

drying in its rays.