Lover's Mask.

I wear the mask 

of my lover's lover. 

He gave it to me,

offhandedly, without thought.

I came to need it.

Wearing it only, at first, 

when we were together.

feeding our bodies with fantasy.

Legs out running around, 

his neck of the woods. 

Now, I keep it close around

my own neck, for safe keeping.

I pull it on 

when I go to the store,

so I can buy my grieving body 

something new.

People desire to think

this is who I truly am.

What a lovely mask, what a 

lovely name, you're so... sweet...

Thank you, I say.

I take it down only

with those that know me, their eyes 

shouting this mask is not my skin.

How sad. I wonder how 

this mask will bleed 

into other parts of me? I wonder.

How long will I continue to bleed?

 Put your hand to your heart.

Is it still beating?

Good.

Then, I still love you. 

before.

before I scream,

I gag my mouth.

before I run,

I bind my feet.

before I love,

I find a man like you. 

autumn.

but wait!

it is Autumn.

time for breakthrough beauty

shining 

from the sky,

from the trees with their gold and 

soft lick of orange.

then suddenly 

shocking, startling red.

you had better stop 

your car.

when else will you get 

to devour 

such startling, shocking red as this?

draped lovingly across 

the branches 

of a noble beauty, who 

doesn't need your attention, 

but deserves it. 

I climb a thousand stairs, 

just 

to lose my breath.

nothing at the top.

three walls, the buzz

of fluorescent light,

say to me,

"there's nothing here...

this. a waste of time." 

No, I reply,

I know better. 

each step 

kissed my feet 

with grace. 

I am breathless...and alive. 

"Do you believe in past lives?"

I ask, knowing... "I don't," he says with finality.

"I do. Because of you. 

Not just because of you, of course. 

But certainly, again....because of you." 

We silently agree to the difference over our breakfast of eggs and sausage in this very American diner. Not only to the difference, but to love each other for the very fact of those differences. One day, they will likely be our undoing. But today, we choose to love each other again. Today, for me, there is only you, which is certainly better than not you. We eat our greasy spoon breakfasts and smile. 

eternity.

blackbird at the windowpane,
looking in, sees himself,
then me. rain falls; 

how his feathers shine!
cocks his head to one side.
one brief moment.

looks into my soul.
flies away. 
just a moment. and eternity.